Moonlight
by beckxxjasper
Summary: Edward has been gone for a long time and Bella is still trying to heal, with Jacob's help. Can she find love again with Jacob? What happens if Edward decides to come back? Set during New Moon while Edward is still gone. Please review! :
1. Chapter 1

**BPOV (Bella's point of view)**

Jacob looked at me from across the log. His eyes were almost burning; as if he was in intense thought, agonising over a decision about something important, something he looked as if he really wanted to do.

_Just do it already!_

Edward had been gone for a long time and he wasn't coming back. I just needed to accept it. I have to accept it, I have to move on and live. It was just that my heart didn't agree with me. It was still holding on, and there was just no way to make it let go, no matter how much I wanted to. And I really did.

Holding on like this is more painful that if I would just let Jacob kiss me. And a part of me, even if it wasn't as big as the first part, really wanted him to. To let his lips reach mine, to know what it feels like…

_I can do this. I can let go._

Jacob moved closer, hands reaching out for mine. His skin burned, like usual, but it wasn't unpleasant. It was always nice, just like this. I wondered for a second if I could let it be something more. Maybe I could just ignore the pain, just for this moment, just so this could be.

'Bella? Are you ok? You're doing that face again, when you're thinking about something. Maybe you should try not thinking for once. I can help with that, you know.' Jacob said, looking up into my eyes as if he wanted to drown in them.

_So close now, you can do this._

His face was so close to mine that our noses were touching. I looked into his eyes, still undecided. Jacob saw my hesitation and pulled back a little, taking his hand from mine and stroking my cheek.

'Bella, it's ok. I can wait if you don't want to. Whatever you want, Bells, whatever you want.'

I did want this. A part of me did. Could I let that part win over the pain that seemed to be tearing at me like my own personal black hole? A voice in the back of my head said yes…

I took my hand, I'm not sure if it was shaking or not, I couldn't tell, and rested it on his neck. I pulled him closer, only half aware of what I was doing, and looked at him, really looked at him. My heart decided.

My personal sun.

When we stopped Jacob pulled back, rested his cheek on my shoulder and sighed.

'Bells, I know that you're still not fully decided yet. But I just wanted to tell you that I will always love you. You're all that I see when I close my eyes. Whatever you decide is ok with me, I just hope that you pick me, instead of the pain that you're still holding onto. Pick me Bella.'

He whispered the last words, almost too softly for me to hear. There was a sad longing in them that made me want to comfort him, to make him happy again.

I threw my arms around him, hugging him as tight as I could with my human strength, and whispered in his ear, 'You know I want you. You make me feel… like me again. Just give me a little more time. I'm almost there.'

'I hope so Bells' he whispered back to me.


	2. Chapter 2

**JPOV (Jacob's point of view)**

I sighed. I hoped Bella would be ready soon, and finally let go of that blood-sucking creep that had hurt her so badly in the past. I wanted to be with her so much, she was a part of me now. To be whole I needed her with me.

We walked down the beach, the sun lightly warming our backs. I looked at her. She seemed calm, almost happy. I could almost see a smile on her face, pulling her cheeks up at both sides.

'Don't ever change Jake. You don't need to.' She said in a contented voice. She looked almost wistful now.

She was close now. My heart felt like it would burst with happiness. I knew it couldn't, but there was no way I could be happier than I was right now, here with my Bella.

Eventually the sun started to fade, and I knew it was time for her to go home. I groaned. It was hard for me to leave her sometimes, knowing that she is Bella and that trouble doesn't just find her, it's attracted to her. I would run around her place tonight again, to make sure she's ok. No one would hurt my Bella again.

'Time for you to get back to Charlie,' I said, with a regretful smile stretching across my face, 'You should invite him up to La Push for dinner. I'm sure there is some game on that he and Billy can watch together.'

She laughed quietly. 'No it's ok, I really should be going, I have tons of stuff to do tonight anyway. But I'll see you tomorrow, right?'

'Of course Bells, I'll be waiting. Just don't take too long or I might be forced to come and look for you.' I laughed, it's true too. Just to make sure she hadn't tripped or done something Bella-ish on the way up here.

She sensed what I was thinking, and her answer was a light smack on my shoulder. It probably wasn't light, but I couldn't tell anymore, her human strength being what it is.

'See you tomorrow Bells.' Well tonight. But she wouldn't hear me running around her house; I was quiet for a wolf.

'Bye Jacob. My Jacob' she sighed at the last words. Her hands slipped from mine as I watched her walk away slowly, lost in thought.

**BPOV (Bella's point of view)**

I was lying in bed thinking about the day, and what it was that I needed to do. I wanted to be happy again, to feel _something_, other than pain. Jacob could be that happiness. I could see our lives together and I see that it's meant to be. If this world was normal, and monsters and fairytales weren't real, I'm meant to be with Jacob.

As my head processed this, I was unaware of drifting gradually into sleep.

'_No Edward! Don't go! Please stay, stay with me!' I sobbed loudly as I watched him walk away. He was so calm, his face was unreadable and his eyes were glazed over. He disappeared into the trees._

_Suddenly, Jacob was behind me whispering in my ear, 'Bella, my Bella. Pick me Bella. Let go. Just let go.'_

_I turned around to find a huge red wolf growling at me, its teeth snapping at my legs. Ready to bite, to kill._

I woke screaming, my hands paralyzed with fear beside me. It was only a dream. Jacob would never hurt me, I knew that. That still didn't stop the fear from crawling slowly down my spine.

_Get with it Bella!_

I had to stop going insane all the time. For Charlie's sake at least, and for Jacob, I knew it wasn't easy for him watching me go to pieces constantly. I pulled my arms around me to keep myself together. I could do this.

I looked at my clock, 7a.m. It was early to get up for a Saturday but I didn't mind, better than go back to my dreams which terrified me more than reality at this point.

I got up and looked out my window. I could see the sun peeking out from between the clouds. This made me feel almost hopeful that the day was going to turn out alright after all.

I walked over to the mirror. Probably time to do something about the mess of hair that framed my head. I was thinking about Jacob as I was brushing my hair.

_What should I do about this? I can't go on in limbo forever._

I sighed. I was going to have to make a decision pretty soon. I really wanted this to work out, me and Jacob. He was my best friend, my world for the moment. If it didn't work out with him, there would be no one else to stitch me up again. Jacob had been there when Edward left but who would be there if Jacob left me? The imprinting thing. What if that happened? Jacob couldn't control it, but he would have to leave me. And then I would be alone again. I shuddered at that last thought.

I quickly got dressed in some old jeans and a grey shirt I found in my closet. I looked acceptable. It would have to do for the day.

I made my way out to the truck, shouting at Charlie as I went by, 'Going to see Jake! Be back tonight!' He answer was a grumble. He was busy watching TV so I would take that as a yes.

I drove my truck slower than usual, unwilling to wake Jacob up too early. He would probably jump at the familiar roar of my truck. And I know he hasn't been getting a lot of sleep lately. I was going to give him as much as I could. I also just needed a chance to think things over again, to make sure the path I was taking was the right one. It wasn't the path that was difficult, it was just the decision. I usually stuck to decisions once I made them.

As I pulled up outside his house I saw his head pop up in the window. Of course he had heard me coming; he would have been listening for it anyway.

'Hey Bella! You're lucky; I was just about to go out looking for you. Nah, it is kind of early you know, geez, not going to let a wolf sleep much are you?' Jacob said playfully as he bounded out of the door to reach me in a few effortless strides.

'Hey Jake, I'm sorry that I came so early it's just… well I could go and come back later if you want.' I said even though I knew this question was rhetorical, Jacob wouldn't want me to leave.

His eyes widened in surprise as he registered my answer, 'No! Don't go Bella, you only just got here! I was only kidding about the early thing, I don't mind at all, whenever you come here is good for me, I promise.' His enthusiastic smile made me smile in automatic response. I loved it when he smiled like this; he was my Jacob when he was like this.

'Well… okay, I won't leave. But consider yourself warned wolf boy! Any more jokes like that and its straight home for me.' I said teasingly.

'Oh well in that case…' Jacob was suddenly serious faced, 'No more jokes for the rest of today then, don't want to send you home by accident you know,' I could sense the joke in his words, Jacob was hardly ever serious with me.

'Well fine then, we'll just be serious Jacob and serious Bella for today, if that's what you want. So… what do serious people talk about then?' I laughed at my words but my head was spinning… there were a few serious things I _would_ like to discuss actually.

It seemed that Jacob was thinking the same thing. His eyes were intense again. I knew he didn't want to push me.

'Jake I… I just wanted to tell you that…' I wasn't sure how to word this; I was never really good at outward emotional displays, a trait from Charlie I guess, 'Jacob I wanted to say that, I pick you. I'm sick of hurting all the time and holding on to this…this thing inside me. It's about time I let it go. I pick you Jake. I want you.' I looked down as I said the last words, suddenly nervous about his response although I already knew what it would be.

His eyes were at first confused, then slowly, his face turned into the happiest expression I've ever seen him wear. His smile stretched almost impossibly across his face as he grabbed me in another one of his vice-tight hugs.

'Whoa… Jake… Can't… Breathe!' I managed to gasp out.

He put me down as he muttered 'Sorry Bells, I didn't mean to hurt you…' His face didn't look very sorry at all, his smile lit up all his features again. He lent down and carefully rested his hands on my cheeks. He looked into my eyes as if he wanted to stay there forever. I wouldn't mind if he did.

Suddenly, his lips were very urgent on mine. Jacob wasn't being careful with me the way Edward was, he didn't have self control like Edward did either. It felt weird, but it was like a drug. I just wanted more. I pulled him closer to me. My head was spiraling out of control.

He was my Jacob, and I could keep him now.

**JPOV (Jacob's point of view)**

She picked me. She wants me. Could a person really be this happy? Well I wasn't a person, technically, so maybe it was possible for me. She wants me! My Bella… I sighed.


	3. Chapter 3

**BPOV (Bella's point of view)**

Weeks past, endless happy weeks. I felt better than I had in a long time, and most importantly, I _could_ feel. It was like Jacob's warmth was radiating every part of me and banishing all the numbness from my insides. I almost felt like me again. Maybe a new me, not the same one I had been with Edward. But almost as happy, I was getting there.

I fit in easily with the wolf pack, almost like I was meant to be a part of it, sitting next to Jacob. I didn't feel inadequate like when I was sitting next to Edward, being this me was much easier.

_I could go on like this forever._ I sighed.

Saturday morning, time to see Jacob again. I smiled so much it hurt my cheeks, but I didn't care, I was just so happy.

I chucked on whatever clothes happened to be lying around in my closet, Jacob wouldn't care what I wore anyway. I looked in the mirror and deemed myself as passable, brushed my teeth and hurried out the door. Charlie was so used to this by now that he didn't even need to ask where I was going. He was just thankful that I was finally happy again.

I started my truck and made my way to Jacob's place. Today we were going for a walk around Seattle; Jacob said he needed to get out of La Push for a while and I agreed. Alone time couldn't hurt either.

We were walking along the streets, not really paying attention to any of the shops or buildings, just enjoying each others company. Everything was bliss. People passed us by but didn't really take much notice of us. A pretty girl walked past, dark brown hair and honey golden eyes. She smiled as she passed us.

Jacob became motionless. I couldn't read his face, I didn't know if it was happy, or if it was horrified. Looked like a mixture of the two.

'Jake… Jake, what's wrong?! What happened? Are you okay?' I said, peering at his face, trying to read his emotions and failing.

'I just… I'm… so sorry Bella… I just… I couldn't stop it… I want to stop it… I don't want to hurt you but…' he said as he was still staring at the pretty girl walking away from us.

I knew exactly what had happened. I didn't feel broken. I felt almost as if I wasn't there anymore. I was just an empty shell now. I couldn't feel my legs as they started to run underneath me, it was just as if I was watching myself from far away. I could hear Jacob yelling, but I couldn't process the words. I just needed to get away.

This was too much. I can't… I can't… I saw the pavement as it rushed up to meet me.

**JPOV (Jacob's point of view)**

I yelled at her to come back, it was like she just couldn't hear or see anything anymore. I broke her. I broke her worse than the blood-sucking creep ever did. I said I would fix her and I just broke her more.

I was worse than Edward. I promised her I would help her, I would fix the state she was in. But I didn't do anything. I had her and now she's gone forever.

Even as I thought this I was going after the girl I saw, I didn't want to, I wanted to go to Bella, to help her. But my legs weren't listening to me anymore, I was just drawn to the girl, I couldn't stop myself.

Bella… Bella… I broke her.

**EPOV (Edward's point of view)**

I couldn't take this for much longer. I was going to have to go back, and soon. Every second I spend away from her is torture. She's on my every thought, her name repeats always in my head.

_Bella.., Bella… My Bella…_

I hope she's ok. She's probably leading a better life now anyway, without me to screw it up for her. I was bad for her. She deserved someone better, someone who wasn't a selfish monster like me.

I would go back. Just to see her, see if she's okay. If she was then I'm pretty sure I could leave again. I _would_ leave. I had to. I wouldn't ruin her life again, I promised her it would be like I never existed. And I was going to keep my promise, even if it was killing me to do it. She was worth it.

_Bella… My Bella… I can do this… You are worth it… Bella._

I got up, happier than I had been in a long time. I was going to see her! Even if she wouldn't know I was there, I was going to see her face again… hear her voice…

I rushed out of the door and into my car. It was time for me to go home. I sighed with relief. I was so close now…


	4. Chapter 4

**BPOV (Bella's point of view)**

_No one left to help. All hope is gone. No one… No one left…_

I managed to gather enough energy to haul myself up the stairs and onto my bed. I didn't have energy for anything else. Not even to cry. I was beyond crying. I was just… empty now. No Edward. No Jacob.

_Alone._

I couldn't move anymore. There wasn't any reason to. No reason to get up tomorrow morning.

_Charlie._

I had to pull it together. For Charlie. He would see through me anyway but I had to try. Otherwise I had nothing left.

I drifted into sleep, my brain too drained to deal with anything else.

_Walking along an endless road. No start and no end. I just walk. Two figures in the distance, one sparkling in the sunlight, the other as tall as a tree, I rush up to meet them but they disappear long before I even get close. Nothing but air. I stretch my hands out, hoping to get even a little piece that they may have left behind. Not even one, my eyes being to swell with tears as the loneliness sets in._

_I hear a growl behind me, a harsh piercing sound. I turn around slowly to find a dead russet brown wolf at my feet. I try to scream but no sound comes out. Silence and emptiness._

I wake panting, wiping the sweat from my forehead. I looked at the clock… 9 a.m. I didn't even have the will to drag myself out of bed. There was no point to this life that I was living. Even time I had a little bit of happiness, it was snatched away as quick as it had came. That didn't seem fair.

_Life isn't fair Bella, hasn't somebody already told you that?_

Maybe I should go to Jacksonville. I wouldn't have to deal with this over there. I couldn't fool Charlie with my fake routine forever. He would send me back eventually; I should just cut to the chase and send myself there. A bit like how I sent myself here… and look how that turned out. No… I couldn't allow myself to think that.

I dragged myself out of bed and began packing, throwing random clothes into my suitcase. It didn't really matter if I left anything behind. I just didn't care anymore.

**EPOV (Edward's point of view)**

I was almost at her house, deliriously happy that I was going to see her one last time. I didn't care if she didn't see me. Just to see her face again… that would be enough.

I turned the corner, her house finally in view. But something felt wrong… different. Her truck wasn't at its usual spot in front of the house. Well, I reasoned, she could be out somewhere. Having a new life, without me… that's what I wanted for her, isn't it?

I decided I would go and check her room just in case, any chance of seeing a glimpse of her sent my heart flying. Yes, I would go check.

I climbed up the tree that I usually used to sneak into her room, and peered through the window… this wasn't right. Half of her stuff was missing. Her room looked almost bare. She couldn't have moved out, could she? How would I find her then?!

Maybe this was a good thing; it looked like she had moved on. I wanted her to move on. I wanted her to forget me, a monster who had ruined the path of her perfect life. I promised her it would be like I never existed… I just never thought the promise would make me feel like this. I felt empty, like a part of me had gone.

I decided before jumping to conclusions, I would go and talk to Charlie; he would know where she was. I know I wasn't supposed to interact with them… to be a part of their lives but… I just had to know. I had to see her again, just to make sure she was alright even if it was without me.

I climbed out of the tree and walked towards the front door, preparing for Charlie's reaction. He probably wasn't very happy with me, for leaving Bella, but that didn't matter to me right now. I just wanted to know about Bella.

I knocked on the door and braced myself, Charlie didn't seem like the yelling type but you can never tell. The door opened and Charlie peered outside. As soon as he saw me his expression turned hostile.

'What do you want Edward? Thought you lot had left town for good.' He said, his tone rising with anger.

'Yes we have, but I just came back to uh… check. Do you know where Isabella is by any chance?' I kept my tone polite; a shouting match wouldn't help me find my Bella

'She left, went to Jacksonville. She couldn't take it here any longer she said. After you left she went almost catatonic for three months, just shut down. Then Jacob came along, and I finally saw my old Bells again. Then just yesterday, he dumped her for no reason and she came back here looking like she did in those three months. She packed and left, I couldn't talk her out of it. She's gone, Edward… gone.' His tone was sad now, filled with pain.

'She… left…she's gone?' I said, in a state of shock. When I find this Jacob kid, I was personally going to snap his neck in half. No one hurts my Bella like that.

'She left just half an hour ago; you might still catch her before she gets to the airport.' So there was still time?! I had to leave, right then.

'Thanks Charlie. I don't expect you to forgive me for what I did, but thank-you.' I said just before I rushed back to my car, and slammed my foot down on the accelerator. I needed to see Bella, now.

**JPOV (Jacob's point of view)**

I need to find Bella, to apologize. I didn't want to hurt her, that's the last thing I wanted in the world. Bella didn't need anymore pain, but I had given it to her anyway.

I was on my way to her house; she didn't answer any of my calls so I was going to see her in person. It would be better in person anyway. I wasn't sure if she was going to forgive me or not… if I was her, I probably wouldn't forgive me.

I saw her house in the distance. A shiny silver Volvo was parked out front… Edward's car..? What the hell was he doing at Bella's house?! My body started to shake uncontrollably; I wanted to kill that blood-sucker for hurting Bella in the first place. He got in his car and speed off. Where was he going in such a hurry? I decided I was going to ask Charlie, instead of following Edward's car and smashing it to pieces. That probably wouldn't end well.

I got out of the car and walked up to the house. Charlie looked furious to see me. Yeah, I was in trouble. That didn't matter right now anyway; I would deal with that later.

'Charlie, why was Edward here? Where did he go?' I asked, my words came out all jumbled up because I was in a hurry to catch Edward but I think he got the gist of it.

'Edward went to go find Bella. She's left for Jacksonville after what you did to her. She just couldn't take it anymore. She said she needed a fresh start, far away from here. You made her leave! Jacob, how could you?! She was finally herself again with you!' his last words came out in a flurry of rage.

Jacksonville. I couldn't let her go to Jacksonville. I had to go after her, to get to her before Edward did. Seeing him again… would that help the state she was in?

I hurried back to my car; I didn't know what to say in response to Charlie anyway, just needed to get to Bella, to say sorry. She wasn't going to leave Charlie alone because of me.


	5. Chapter 5

**APOV (Alice's point of view)**

Another school, another boring meaningless day of pretending. I wasn't focusing my mind on the present anyway, I was too worried for that. Worried about Edward… and Bella. I knew Edward would go back to her eventually, every second it was painful for him to stay away… I wondered what it would be like if I had to stay away from Jasper, I shivered. Not good. Not good at all.

It was lunchtime, and Jasper and I were acting human, sitting on a beach looking bored. Jasper was playing with my hair, seeming calm and unaffected by the worry that was plaguing me. But I knew better, I could see the worry lines creeping up on his forehead.

_Oh no…_

'Oh my God!' I dropped the book I was pretending to read. This could not be happening… it just couldn't…

'Alice, Alice! What is it? What did you see?' Jasper looked worried, he could feel the sudden drop in my emotions… the panic that was beginning to crush me.

'Edward… he went back for Bella… but she… she… give me a phone!' I had to do something. I couldn't get there in time but I could call someone who could.

Jasper didn't question my instructions, he knew me better than that. He reached into his pocket and handed me his phone, without hesitation.

Quickly I dialed the number, hoping he would answer, hoping I wasn't too late…

Four rings later and I was beyond panic… there had to be something I could do… why oh why didn't I see this sooner! The phone stopped ringing and he answered. I took a breathe to calm myself. He was not going to take this well.

'What is it Alice?' His tone was rushed, I could hear his car in the background. Good, he must already be after her.

'Edward… I… I couldn't see before…' I didn't know how to put this, but I had to force the words out of my mouth.

'Alice, what did you see?!' His voice was rising in panic now, like he almost knew what was coming.

'It's Bella. She's in danger Edward. You have to hurry! Get to her NOW!' I practically yelled out the last words, hoping it would spur him on faster. But there was no need, he had already hung up.

I just hoped he wasn't too late.

**BPOV (Bella's point of view)**

I needed to get far away from here. There were too many memories. Too many bad thoughts chasing me, threatening to swallow me whole, to survive I needed to get away.

I was close to the airport now. Suddenly I wasn't so sure about going to Jacksonville. I didn't want my mum trying to comfort me. I just wanted to be alone. I was alone in this world anyway, destined to be alone.

I pulled my truck over, unsure what to do next. I decided I just needed time to breathe, so I gave myself 15 minutes, I was early for the take-off time anyway.

I tried to shut out the thoughts in my head but I felt like I was drowning in a pool of hurt. To shut it out, I turned on the radio, turned it up as high as it would go and just sat back, staring at the ceiling. I really don't know how much more of this I could take, I felt close to breaking point. Jacob had brought me back from that once, and now he had just sent me straight back there.

_So much for all his promises…_

It was too good to be true anyway. I should have just known that any good thing I get goes away in a heartbeat. I trusted Jacob to fix me, I trusted him… and now everything… everything just hurts.

Maybe some fresh air would clear my head. I jumped out of my truck and sat near the edge of the trees, trying to will the depressing thoughts and memories right out of my head and into the forest in front of me.

Just then, I thought I saw moment in the trees. Too quick to be real, my brain rejected that anything could possibly move that fast, even though somewhere, deep in the back of my mind, I knew something that could. Emotions welled within me as I thought the word that I had been avoiding for a long time…

_Vampire_.

Could it be…? I didn't even allow myself to hope as I scrambled to my feet. My heart started to hammer loud in my chest blocking out all other sounds.

A horribly familiar figure stood before me, with hair like orange flames.

_Victoria._ She had come for me.


End file.
